Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize