Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ladies don't puke and tell
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
