I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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