Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
