My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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