Dual....:-)
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
