love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
