Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All I want is dick and wine.
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