Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
from now on my penis is your penis
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
