I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
