I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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