so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
