How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize