We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
