Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
