Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize