he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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