shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize