Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
