You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
