i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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