he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
