You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
