so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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