I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
did i walk over a car last night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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