i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
