Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize