Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
