are you still at the devil's house?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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