dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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