i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
we should paint friendship bongs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
