Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
