I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
