I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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