I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
