dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
sarcasm needs its own font
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
