idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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