you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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