She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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