Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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