Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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