i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
operation have a gay friend backfired
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
