And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's shark week go big or go home
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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