I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
