no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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