Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
