I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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