I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize