You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My ATM looks so different sober.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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