Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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