how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The dick lei will go down in squad history
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
