Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
