he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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