Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
