btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize