I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
