Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
