like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
