i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he puts the penis in happiness.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
