also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
