Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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