My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
