I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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