You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
