Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
